Monday, August 15, 2016

Thoughts on Student Teaching

I always like this style of chatty posts when I read them on other people's blogs, but I always feel a bit silly writing them myself. I either feel like I'm just rambling and the post doesn't have a point or I worry that no one will like it or want to read it. I'm going to just share this though because I have a lot of thoughts on this as it's something that I've been working towards for four years and it's a huge change for me.

Thoughts on Student Teaching

Today I start my student teaching! It's a professional development day so there's no students, but still. It's pretty exciting since I've been working towards this for the last four years. I'm excited to be so close to finishing school and walking away with my degree and certification in December. I'm excited to be working with high school students. I'm excited to be working with other teachers and learning from them for the semester. I know this will probably be a great experience and one that will help me a LOT with the rest of my career.

But I'm still extremely nervous and stressed about it. I'm not sure if you guys have picked up on this yet, but I can get stressed out very easily. I've gotten better at dealing with stress and learned how to manage it better, but it's still something I have to work at. One of the things that stresses me the most is change - which is all that seems to be happening at the moment!

I've caught on to college life and have gotten super used to the routine. I know how to be a good student and get good grades. I know who my friends are and when we hang out. I know when I'll have the most free time and when I'll have a ton of work to do.

Now I'm going back to not knowing and having to start over with those things! Which is fine because I don't really want to be a college student for the rest of my life. And I know that teaching is something I enjoy doing and what I want to do for my career. But it's still nerve-racking for me to walk into a building and not really know what I'm doing, where things are, or who anyone is. I'm not sure what my role is as a student teacher since I want to show that I'm willing to do things but I also don't want to annoy the teachers I'm working with or anything. And I'm definitely nervous about getting assessed on my teaching and how the projects I have to complete will be graded!

Like I said I don't like change and I know part of it is me needing wanting to be in control and part of it is being a perfectionist. It just bothers me to not know what I'm doing, what's expected of me, and what's coming. I know those things will come with time and after a few weeks it will seem like no big deal, but for right now it does. It also deeply bothers me for my work to not be good enough. I know that as a student teacher the teachers I work with and my college professors don't expect me to be perfect and they mostly just want to see that I try and do my best and am willing to improve, but it still bothers me!

Despite all the nerves and being unsure, I would still say I'm mostly excited for student teaching. Like I said earlier, I'm excited to start practicing what I've been preparing for the last four years. I'm excited to be meet my students and get to know them this year. I'm excited to help kids learn and I'm excited to develop relationships with the teachers and staff at the school. 

If you read through all of this, thank you. I just wanted to share my thoughts on all of this. I know this will be good for me and anyone else starting something for the first time - college, internship, job, whatever - to feel less alone and more normal about worrying about all of this (or at least I hope I'm not the only one!).

Are you starting anything new? Do you thrive on change and new things, or does it stress you too? Let me know in the comments!

Related Posts: Changes and Possibilities, College Advice for Freshman, 10 Ways I Cope with Depression